Vampire Knight's Big Discovery
by xlunardemonx
Summary: We all write about Vampire Knight. What would happen if they were to find out?
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I thought it might be interesting to think about what the VK characters would do if they found out people were

**Author's note:** I thought it might be interesting to think about what the VK characters would do if they found out people were writing naughty things about them. I don't own Vampire Knight at all.

**When Vampire Knight Finds **

On an annoyingly bright Tuesday afternoon Aido found he couldn't sleep. So he pulled out the laptop Kain had given him in hopes of stopping his cousin from annoying everyone quite so much (not like Aido knew that of course) and opened the internet. While searching random websites, Aido came across a website called ""

Aido being himself saw the word "fan" and decided to see what it was all about. So he clicked the button, having no clue whatsoever that this was going to cause a wild rampage of the Cross Academy. He saw Anime/manga and thought of Ichijou. Aido scrolled down the page of various titles until he saw something called Vampire Knights. He was a vampire. And knights were cool so why not? We can all imagine the playboy vampire's pleasure when he saw his name on one of the first stories which he supposed they must be. Ignoring the summary, rating, yaoi warning and the aidoxzero, he opened the story. Big mistake.

Aido read the story and hit the back button after the first paragraph. That was by far the most disgusting thing he'd ever read in his long, long, long life. Yet it was so grotesquely fascinating, it was almost impossible to stop. But this was Kiryuu they were putting him with so….

He continued to scroll down and saw, to his utter amazement and horror, the names of everyone he knew in multiple stories from calm and normal stories that Aido was able to read to the most perverted ones. If they weren't about him they were fine but if it involved the blonde vampire in any way at all, he had to go back.

That was about when he realized he could check for names. Some of the stories really were funny to the site's credit.

Suddenly Aido noticed that there was a disclaimer on some, saying that they didn't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters. Could they be saying that they didn't own…him?

_Well, of course they don't own me, _Aido thought, slightly annoyed. Who could he show that would understand?

Kain would get it. After all he was on this strange website, too. Aido picked up the laptop and walked over to his sleeping cousin then began poking him until he woke up.

"What?" Kain growled irritably.

"Kain you have to look at this website!" Aido whispered urgently. Kain rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure it can't wait until later?"

Aido grinned. He had an idea. "This website somehow knows that you got a thing for Ruka," Aido said mischievously.

Kain sat up immediately. "Show me!" he ordered. Aido gave his cousin a quick explanation and handed over the laptop.

"So what do we do?" asked Aido when he got the laptop back. Kain thought for a minute.

"We can't tell Kaname-sama no matter what," he said decisively.

"Why not?"

"Did you not look at all the ones that involved him and Kiryuu?"

"Oh. He'd be really pissed, wouldn't he?" Aido realized. Kain nodded gravely. "Then who can we tell?"

Again Kain seemed to think. "Everyone else," he said finally.

"Who first?" asked Aido.

Oddly enough Kain turned red. "Shiki and Ichijou," he said quickly. Kain doesn't blush. Unless it's about—oh.

Aido laughed. "You just don't want to show Ruka!" he guessed. Kain glared at him looking lethal. Aido stopped laughing quickly.

"Let's just go," Kain said looking away from Aido who resisted the urge to laugh again, for fear of his face. And so they set off to Shiki and Ichijou's room, Aido carrying the laptop, which seemed to be getting heavier and heavier by the second.

When they finally reached the room, Kain knocked softly on the door which a very disgruntled looking Shiki answered.

"What?" he asked sounding similar to Kain when he woke up. Aido and Kain looked at each other trying to best figure out how to explain. Shiki could see that this was going to take awhile so he stood back to let the cousins in. The noise woke up Ichijou who was sitting up staring for an explanation.

Aido figured he might as well get it out. "Iwazserchindissiteanifundarelewerdonedathadusinitanmenakandotweshudshowu," he mumbled out as fast as he could.

"Our language please," Shiki said tonelessly.

Kain translated the best he could. "Aido found a website with all of us in it and it has slightly disturbing parts to it so we thought we should show it to you," he said. That made much more sense. Shiki walked over.

"Let's see it then," he sighed. It was Aido so it couldn't be that bad. Apparently it could. Aido clicked on the first story he could find with Shiki and Rima both in it.

Ichijou, Shiki, Kain and Aido all read it to themselves until Shiki let out a little groan and pleaded, "Get rid of it Aido, please get rid of it." Shiki looked ready to pass out so Aido showed some uncharacteristic sympathy and clicked back. Shiki sunk to the ground with his eyes tightly closed, begging the mental images the graphic story had formed to go away.

"Wow Shiki, you and Rima?" Ichijou said appreciatively. This was giving him some new ideas of putting the two together, a subject he'd supposedly dropped to weeks prior.

"We never did anything like _that_!" Shiki said defensively. Aido snickered and turned the laptop around, showing another story, this time with Shiki and Ichijou.

"So did you do anything like _this_ with _Ichijou_?" he asked slyly.

This time Shiki really did faint only to be smacked awake by Kain.

"No one else can _ever_ find out about this website," Shiki gasped, having the feeling that chaos would erupt should it be discovered. Everyone in the room nodded feverishly. If Shiki was showing a reaction to this than no one wanted to find out what Kaname-sama would do. Or Rima. Or Ruka. Or anyone else for the matter.

"What's it called?" asked Ichijou. Aido looked at the name.

"" he read. They had no clue that outside the door, Rima and Ruka were listening closely. Ruka forced herself to memorize the name.

"Let's go check out that website," Rima said. If Shiki and the others could know, so would she and Ruka. Probably not Kaname-sama though.

So what's gona happen when Rima and Ruka check out this site? We'll find out next time READ AND REVIEW!! Please?


	2. The Forbidden Site

For what you all missed: Aido discovered Fan Fiction dot net and showed it to Kain, Ichijou and Shiki all of whom vowed never to tell anyone else. But what fun would that be? So naturally, Rima and Ruka were listening form the other side of the door and rushed back to their room where they will discover what we write about them….

When Rima and Ruka finally made it to their room, they were almost insane with desire to know what the hell this forbidden website was. Rima hastily turned the computer on and clicked on the internet button. Ruka impatiently tapped her foot while she waited for the depressingly slow computer to work. When the internet screen finally appeared and was ready to go, Rima typed the site name in so fast she misspelled 'fiction' three times, irritating Ruka close to her limit. She was already annoyed enough that she couldn't be told about something as stupid as a website….

Rima found the website, just as Aido had found "Vampire Knights." How did she know which one to pick? She and Ruka had been listening at that part that's how.

Rima and Ruka were just as surprised as Aido had been when they found their names listed as characters. Rima clicked on the first story. Because it was day, people had updated and added stories so the first one wasn't the one Aido first discovered. It was a friendly, non-graphic story that featured Kain and Shiki talking about…Rima and Ruka??

OK, so maybe having Kain and Shiki talk about them wasn't cool but it wasn't bad enough to have the website be a secret from everyone else. So the girls continued to the next story, which gave them their answer. It was quite graphic with very suggestive themes of Kaname and Kiryuu. Yes, Kaname-sama shouldn't know about this website. Ever. That would defiantly not sit well with him, especially because the next story had zeroxyuuki in the summary. Rima figured out what the ratings and the insert-namexinsert-name was all about before Aido had.

Ruka however, didn't. She saw her name on one and ordered Rima to click on it. Rima let out a very deep sigh. Kainxruka. Rima didn't even want to know how this one was going to turn out. Particularly with the rating being M. Rima scooted out of the chair and let Ruka sit and read. The orange-haired vampire watched Ruka closely, prepared to run out of the room in case she exploded. To Rima's short-lived relief, Ruka did not explode. Instead, she simply hit the back button and moved down to other stories. Rima understood why this site was bad. But it was so perversely fascinating that she couldn't turn away.

Until of course Ruka clicked on another story and beckoned Rima to come over and read. Guess what it was. Yes, it was another graphic story with Shiki and Rima. Rima stared at the screen for a moment and then snorted in disgust.

"What is wrong with humans I will never know," she said shaking her head. She obviously handled it better than Shiki had. Rima thought for a moment.

"So Kaname can't find out about this but I think we should probably go talk to Ichijou, Kain, Shiki and Aido. Damn him for finding this site," she added the last part with a small scowl.

Ruka stared at the screen and finally looked at Rima.

"But no one else can find out about this otherwise it'll get to Kaname-sama one way or another," she reminded Rima firmly. Rima and nodded and quickly minimized the screen. Together, they walked down to Shiki and Ichijou's room and opened the door.

The four others jumped and Ichijou slammed the top of the computer closed.

"H-h-hi Rima. Hi Ruka," he said stuttering. Rima lies better than him. Shiki took a quick look at Rima and closed his eyes.

"You found the site?" he asked though it was more of a statement than a question.

"Uh-huh," Rima said apathetically. "Humans are such diabolical, ridiculous and confusing creatures." Everyone stared at Rima's lack of emotion.

Ruka had the opposite reaction.

"I'm going to find the humans who have been writing these disturbing things and...I'm not sure what I'll do," Ruka growled, faltering slightly at the end. This was the blow up Rima had been waiting for.

"So what do we do?" asked Aido for the second time.

"Yuuki would tell Kaname-sama, as would anyone else so this _must_ stay a secret," Rima said sharply. She walked over to Shiki's seemingly lifeless form and sat down next to him, as if to prove that these stories weren't going to have any effect on her at all. Just when everyone was wondering if Shiki had died, he let out a snore.

"Shiki can sleep through anything," Aido said sounding very amused. All six vampires made the silent pact that they would be tortured to death before they coughed up anything about this site. Never would it be spoken of again. Kain was rather quiet through the whole thing, something Ruka noticed without even meaning to. She wondered if the story was having an impact on her because she felt herself feel a tiny bit awkward (more than that actually but like hell was she admitting it) being in the same room as him, unlike Rima who had fallen asleep on Shiki's shoulder. Rima could be so shameless at times.

In a way, Ruka wished she could be more like that. But old habits are hard to break, as even the strongest of us know. She leaned against the wall and in her pensiveness, didn't notice Kain come closer.

"So what do you think about it?" he asked her quietly. Ruka sighed.

"Think about what?" she replied darkly.

"You know."

"Yes, I do know."

"But you won't answer the question?"

"I _can't_ answer the question!" Ruka whispered. "I have no idea what to think of any of it."

It was now Kain's turn to sigh. "Neither do I," he told her.

Ruka hadn't realized how completely exhausted she was until she found herself sliding against the wall, only to be picked up and set on something soft—Ichijou's fluffy bed—and then she slept.

Rima had no clue how right she'd been when she said that if anyone (especially Yuuki) found out about the fan fiction dot net, it was sure to reach Kaname-sama's ears. She also didn't realize how big a mistake it had been to leave the screen that had this very dangerous site on it. Because at that moment, Yuuki walked into Rima and Ruka's room, for reasons unknown and saw the computer on.

Being her innocent-but-curious self, Yuuki walked over and made to turn it off when she saw a screen was minimized. She opened in and saw her own name.

Oh boy is this gonna turn out great or what! Yuuki's turn to have her gentle soul corrupted by our writings…dun dun dun…. **KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!** I love to hear what you guys have to say.


	3. Secret Revealed

**Author's note:** thank you to everyone who has been reviewing my stories! It means a lot and gives me good ideas for future stories and I like hearing from you all!! Anyway, let's look back at what happen last time (just like they do on CSI): Rima and Ruka looked up fan fiction dot net and found the, ah, graphic stuff. They left to go talk to Ichijou, Shiki, Aido and Kain about it (Rima handling it all much better than anyone, Shiki in particular) but made the mistake of leaving on the computer. Yuuki walked into the room when they were gone and found a minimized screen. Opening it, she saw her own name….

Yuuki stared at the screen of—fan fiction dot net? The stories might not caught her eye had Yuuki not seen something that said in the summary _THREE WAY!! Yuukixkanamexzero!! Don't read if you don't like! No flames!!_

What the heck? Flames? Three way? What did the x stand for? Yuuki was beyond confused. So she clicked on the harmless seeming story and proceeded to read. Halfway through it began to not seem so harmless.

"Oh my," Yuuki murmured, amazed at the thoughts some people had come up with. Kaname-sama and Zero would be incredibly outraged at this. Yuuki had a feeling that if it was Rima and Ruka who had indeed discovered this monstrosity, they would be very unwilling to tell Kaname-sama about it. But he did have the right to know so Yuuki decided to tell him about it. As she was about to leave, Yuuki's eyes strayed down to the next story. Aidox…yori?? No way!! Everyone should know about this now (Yuuki had by now figured out what x stood for)!! Who knew what other people could be in this! Yuuki left the screen open and ran out the room leaving the door open in her haste. Who to tell first?

Yori-chan was her best friend so Yuuki would tell her first. Yori-chan would also know the best way to handle the 'situation.' Yuuki ran down the hall way and to the Day class dorms. Luckily, it was lunch time so Yori wasn't in class. Yuuki charged like a bull through the streets of Mexico to the table where Yori always sat, staining many peoples' uniforms on the way.

Yori stared at Yuuki. "Are you alright?" she asked. For Yori, that was a really dumb question. Yuuki seized her by the wrist and dragged her to their dorm, staining even more uniforms.

When they reached the dorm room, Yuuki and Yori were panting heavily, but Yuuki found the strength to kick open the door and walk into the room where the computer was, sit down, turn it on, find the site and show Yori, who stumbled over and looked at the boring site.

Hmm, it was for writers. Maybe she should look at it again. When Yori saw Yuuki click on a story that had her name and began to read, she decided that she would _not_ be looking at the site again.

"So?" Yuuki demanded.

"I think it's quite strange," Yori said.

Yuuki stared at her friend. "That's it? That's all you can say??"

Yori just shrugged. Yuuki let out an irritated sigh and began to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?" asked Yori. Yuuki didn't even bother turning around.

"I'm going to go tell Kaname-sama," she said tiredly. Yori nodded calmly and Yuuki left the room. If she'd known that Yori was going to have her usual reaction she wouldn't have bothered showing her. Maybe Yuuki was overreacting. Maybe it wasn't such a big deal and she was making a fuss over nothing.

Randomly Yuuki wondered if there were more fictions of her and Kaname-sama, her and Zero, Kaname-sama and Zero or Zero and Kaname-sama. Did she even want to know?

In all her musings, Yuuki failed to notice Zero walking and ran straight into him. Zero stared at her pensive face. That wasn't like Yuuki. She usually had this stupid grin. Not that he _didn't like _the stupid grin, but…oh never mind.

"Zero! Zero Zero! You won't believe what I found!" Yuuki cried. Now that was more like Yuuki, Zero decided.

"What did you find?' he asked robotically. Not that Yuuki really noticed.

"Ifoundthiswebsitewhereyouandmeand—"Yuuki began but Zero covered her mouth impatiently.

"I can't understand you when you talk like that," he told her. Yuuki nodded and he let go.

"Kanamewereallinitandimgoingtoshowhimnow so you better come!!" she finished. Zero sighed. There was absolutely no point to this.

They continued to walk to the Moon dorms and Zero scowled slightly. He hated anything that had to do with that other vampire and going directly to him was just…grr.

When they reached the Moon dorm, to Yuuki's relief (thought not so much Zero's) Kaname was walking by.

"KANAME-SAMA!" Yuuki hollered and Zero winced. That girl could be so damned loud when she wanted to. She also seemed to forget that vampires had enhanced hearing or that Kaname would recognize the scent of her blood anywhere. Kaname walked over and Yuuki's eyes grew wide and she began to explain as slowly as possible. She didn't want to have to repeat it more times than necessary.

"I. Found. This. Website. That. Has. Really. Perverted. Stories. That. Have. Everyone. From. The. Night class. Me. Zero. And. Yori. In. Them," she said painstakingly slowly.

Zero rolled his eyes and Kaname said nothing for a moment. It was quite an awkward silence for the three.

"Define perverted," Kaname finally said. And that's exactly what Yuuki did, using the first fiction she had found as an example, much to the embarrassment of Zero and Kaname (though Kaname successfully hid it). Eventually, it became too much for Zero so he again grabbed Yuuki and covered her mouth. The small girl continued to speak.

"En po, wu en meh en ziiiroo el died duh tangy wit wu new wut iz," she finished. Everyone was silent again and Kaname again broke the silence.

Translation: Then so, you and me and Zero all did the thing which you know what is.

"And where did you first find this fan fiction dot net?" he asked.

"Ina en roorah's doon," Yuuki said her mouth still covered. Kaname blinked and Zero let go.

"Rima and Ruka's room," Yuuki repeated. Kaname knew that the girls weren't likely to find something like this on their own and that left—Hanabusa. Boy was he screwed over now.

"I will go talk to Chairman Cross about this and Seiren will speak to the night class," Kaname said flatly. Zero nodded and both he and Yuuki left.

But of course before going to the chairman, Kaname _had_ to look at this fan fiction dot net thing. Seiren appeared out of no where as usual. Couldn't she show up like a normal...vampire??

"Should I go now?" she asked and Kaname nodded. Quickly he went up to his room and turned on his computer. Really, this whole fan fiction dot net couldn't be as horrible as Yuuki said. As much as he hated to admit it, Kaname knew that Yuuki was prone to overreacting at times.

Kaname's eventual reaction would be bigger better and a lot more dangerous. Not that he knew that of course. Why do you think no one wanted him to find out?

Nice, so Fan fiction dot net had finally reached Kaname's ears and he's about to get a real shocker. Poor Aido is really in it deep now…. Read and review!! I'll try and finish this before the 26th (that's when school starts for me) but if I can't I will update as least very other day.


	4. Busted x2

**note:** Last time, Fan fiction dot net got to Kaname who sent Seiren to find the other vampires who discovered it. Meanwhile, Kaname decided to look at it before showing the Chairman. What do you think he'll find? More importantly, what do you think he'll do?

Kaname stared at the homepage of fan fiction dot net. Did he really want to do this? He had to, Kaname decided. If he didn't, it would bug him for the rest of his eternal life.

He searched down stories and clicked at a random one. Maybe it wasn't so random because it had him and Kiryuu. As it turned out, Kaname had more balls than anyone (except for Yori who had began reading more stories as soon as Yuuki left) because he actually finished this story. He blinked and the vase behind him shattered.

Kaname continued to look at stories and to his dismay, there were many 'kiryuuxyuuki' fictions. Even worse, there were even _more_ 'kiryuuxkaname' stories. The pureblood blinked again; the whole computer broke. Whoops. That computer had been damn expensive. Not that it mattered; he'd just make Aido buy him a new one.

While Kaname was forcing himself—with great difficulty—to calm down, Seiren made her way to Ichijou and Shiki's room. She knew for fact that if Aido found it, he would've told Kain, who would've suggested telling, Shiki and Ichijou, who would have decided to not tell Rima and Ruka (freakin sexists!), who had somehow figured it out anyway, who had then gone to Shiki and Ichijou's room.

Instead of knocking, Seiren burst through the door (for dramatic effect, you know?) and everyone in the room jumped. Except for Rima who was sleeping on Shiki's lap and Shiki (also sleeping) who was holding her possessively. They could sleep through anything, including a busted down door. What had been happening before Seiren so rudely burst through the door was this: Rima and Shiki sleeping, Kain and Ruka simply staring at each other with goo goo eyes, and Aido and Ichijou breaking the pact by discussing just what the hell they were gonna do about fan fiction dot net. It was quite ridiculous to be honest. How could they not think that Kaname-sama was going to find out about it? Seiren sighed. Idiots, all of them.

"Oh crap," Ichijou moaned. Ruka paled, Kain groaned, Aido whimpered (he just _knew_ he was going to get the worst) and Shiki and Rima continued to sleep. If they didn't find the site interesting, Kaname-sama probably wasn't going to punish them. It was lucky for them that Shiki and Rima were excellent at fake sleeping. Maybe not enough to fool Kaname-sama but he wasn't there now was he? Maybe Seiren isn't the brightest crayon in the sixty-four cent box after all. Seiren narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"You are all so busted," she said. She looked at the sleeping pair. It was sort of cute actually. Ruka looked at the expression on Seiren's face.

"They aren't getting in trouble," Ruka assumed. Seiren shrugged and everyone else in the room rolled their eyes, while Shiki and Rima both had tiny smiles on their faces, unnoticed by everyone else.

After his computer broke, Kaname decided to go to the Chairman's office immediately. It didn't matter if it was day time. This was a serious matter that could NOT be taken lightly.

Kaname walked quickly out of the Moon dorm and toward the Chairman's office. He tensed as he tried to ignore the screams of "kya kya KYA!!" from the fan girls. And the gay boys. Kaname wasn't exactly sure which was worse; all he knew that that they both _sucked._

When he reached the door to the chairman's office he let out at small sigh of relief. Just when he was about to enter the room, he heard the Chairman giggle. What could be so funny? He never heard the Chairman giggle before. Suddenly the sound of a keyboard being used could be heard.

"Then Kaname and Kiryuu kissed deeply. It was filled with passion and lust the matched their eyes," the Chairman said giggling. No way.

"Kaname reached under Kiryuu's shirt. 'I need you' he whispered." By now the Chairman was in hysterics. Yes way.

Kaname busted through the door.

Aido was really getting on Seiren's nerves.

"But I didn't mean to find the site!" he whined. Seiren grounded her teeth irritably.

"I'm following Kaname-sama's orders," Seiren growled. "You were the one who found the site anyway!"

"But Kain told me to tell Shiki and Ichijou!" the blonde vampire positively wailed.

"That's why he is in here, too."

"It was Ichijou and Shiki who _said_ it aloud! And Rima and Ruka who looked it up, too!"

"That's why Ruka and Ichijou are here also."

"But Shiki and Rima—"Seiren just punched him in the face, knocking out the pest.

"Anyone else got something to say?" she snapped.

Ichijou, Kain and Ruka all shook their heads in a 'no.' Shiki and Rima had indeed gotten out of punishment because of their "lack in part of the conspiracy" as Seiren called it.

They had still been "asleep" when Seiren had left them. Outside of her hard-as-stone shell, Seiren had a soft spot for adorable poses similar to the one Shiki and Rima had been in. so she let them off the hook, much to everyone else's irritation. Wasn't it a little too convenient that they'd fallen asleep at that time? But their reputation of getting bored easily and falling asleep even more easily helped a lot. Aido let out a little moan and for what was the 30th time (Kain was keeping count) the cycle continued where Aido whined, Seiren got pissed, Aido whined some more and Seiren knocked him out.

That was pretty short…. So is the Chairman really writing fictions about his beloved students? OMG no way!! What's Kaname gonna do about it? And will Seiren actually end up killing Aido?

I think I'm just going to do one last chapter then an epilogue. This story is actually beginning to grow on me. READ AND REVIEW!!


	5. CIRCLE TIME!

**Author's note: **sooooo my readers who I love, this is the final chapter then an epilogue. I would like to take this time to thank Ginny7777 for helping me figure out why fan fiction dot net wouldn't show up in the first chapter, all the readers who have given me ideas that have made my story what it is, YenGirl in particular because she suggested some things along the way (in this chapter for example) that I never would've thought of myself. Thank you all so very much.Last time, Seiren busted Ichijou, Kain, Ruka and Aido (especially Aido) and let Rima and Shiki off the hook because she thought they were sleeping. They weren't. _Even more_ fascinating though, was that Kaname over heard the Chairman writing a kanamexkiryuu fan fic!! NO WAY!!

Kaname stared at the Chairman through livid eyes.

"H-h-hello Kan-Kaname!" the Chairman stuttered sheepishly.

"_Please_ tell me you were not writing a fiction on fan fiction dot net," Kaname said through gritted teeth. The Chairman's eyes grew wide and Kaname saw him move his hand in a movement that could be minimizing a screen on the computer.

"Fan-fic-what?" the Chairman asked innocently and Kaname struggled with the urge to roll his eyes. Damn the Chairman and his childish ways. Instead Kaname walked over to the computer and opened the screen. There were two, one was Fan fiction dot net and the other was a word document titled _Forbidden Love._

"You pervert!" Kaname hollered at his so-called friend. The Chairman's eyes widened.

"But Kan-a-me!!" he whined putting Kaname's name into three parts. "I like boy on boy and you and Kiryuu-kun are so _cute_ togeth—"

Kaname raised his hand and closed his eyes. "Don't even go there," he said sharply. Damn Cross was beginning to remind him of Aido! Kaname growled. Suddenly he figured out a way to punish Cross, not physically, so it was more humiliation. "So you like boy on boy?" Kaname asked. Cross nodded. Kaname smiled. The Chairman had a very bad feeling in his gut.

Kaname never smiled. Never ever ever!! The said vampire reopened the fan fiction dot net and looked up the characters Cross and Yagari.

"What are you doing?" demanded the Chairman. Kaname shrugged.

"If you like boy on boy you're going to love this," he told the Chairman simply. The next twenty minutes was spent forcing the Chairman to read a crossxyagari story. Maybe Kaname should be a professional torturist. If that that was a job. If only it was a _word_.

"I surrender!!" cried the Chairman. Kaname smiled again. This was really worth it.

"So what do we do about the site?" Kaname asked both the Chairman and himself.

"We pretend we never saw it and things go back to normal?" the Chairman suggested. Kaname shook his head.

"Unfortunately, I found this site through Yuuki and Kiryuu, who found out through the Night class by mistake. The Chairman turned pale.

"MY YUUKI KNOWS??" he cried. "What will she think of her daddy now?"

Kaname scowled. "She doesn't know you've typing some stories," he said. "No one but you and I do."

Just then Yagari walked through the door laughing. "Oh Kaien, you won't believe the genius idea I got for a kanamexkiryuu—oh crap," he began, pausing when he saw Kaname. He turned to leave but Kaname grabbed him by the hunter's jacket and pulled him to the computer.

"So you were in one it too huh?" Kaname positively snarled. He was quite touchy on the subject of these stories. At least they weren't writing ones with Kiryuu and Yuuki.

"But don't complain Kuran, we were writing ones with Zero and Yuuki, too!" Yagari said quickly. This guy was having some nasty luck today, Kaname decided. Either that or he was a masochistic idiot. Probably the latter.

And the punishment was continued where Yagari read a crossxyagari fic. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! When they were done, Kaname, Kaien and Yagari all tried to figure out what to do about this fan fiction dot net.

"Maybe we should get everyone who knows to gather around and we could have a calm meeting about it," the Chairman said. Always such a friggin pacifist, Kaname and Yagari both thought.

"Let me get this straight," Yagari said. "You want to gather, eight vampires, an ex-human, two humans and us, and talk about stories that involve us screwing each other?"

The Chairman shrugged. "If you want to put it like that then yes," he said casually.

"We're all going to kill each other," Kaname said, almost laughing. He would have too, but that would ruin his I'm-so-serious record.

"Not if we use a talking stick," Kaien said cheerily.

_Great, another weapon for someone to kill the other with,_ Yagari thought.

_This man is on speed_, Kaname thought. But they could think of nothing else to do so they all agreed to a meeting.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Aido scowled at the stupid walking stick. He could believe he was stuck sitting in a freakin circle that consisted of Kain, Ruka, Ichijou, Kaname, Seiren, Shiki, Rima, Yuuki, Sayori, Yagari, the Chairman, _Kiryuu _(of all people!) and himself all sitting talking about the stupid website that got him ass busted AGAIN!

"I couldn't sleep so I took out my laptop and ACCIDENTALLY found a website which I showed to KAIN who suggested that we show SHIKI AND ICHIJOU then RIMA AND RUKA who were EVESDROPPING found out and then left the SCREEN open and YUUKI found out and blabbed to EVERYONE so all in all this whole thing is NOT MY FAULT!" he told them all, yelling at the parts he wanted specified. Everyone in the circle sweat dropped, with the exceptions of Rima and Shiki who had for the second time fallen asleep (though this time they were actually sleeping) and Yuuki who clapped and said, "That was beautiful Idol—I mean Aido-senpai!"

Aido as good as threw the stick at his cousin who stared at it.

"Aido showed me the website and I thought it might be wise to seek help from Ichijou and Shiki and then Rima and Ruka found out then Yuuki found out and told Sayori and Kiryuu who told Kaname who told the Chairman and Yagari and here we are," he said absolutely tonelessly. It was so quiet even the crickets weren't making any sound. Kain passed the stick to Ichijou who smiled brightly.

"After me and Shiki found out we started talking about it and eventually Rima and Ruka came in and then Shiki and Rima fell asleep and Kain and Ruka started staring at each other" to his words both Kain and Ruka looked away as if they found the air the most interesting thing they'd even seen. "And I guess Yuuki-chan found out and um, told a bunch of people including Kaname who told Seiren to go get us and…yeah," he said very cheerily. Almost like the Chairman…. The blonde vampire tried to hand the stick to Shiki but he just continued to snore while curled up next to Rima who was breathing softly. "Did anyone ever tell those two that they sleep too much?" asked Ichijou. Ruka quickly snatched the stick.

"Me and Rima looked up fan fiction dot net because Ichijou and Shiki said we couldn't and then we went to talk to them and Yuuki just _had_ to come into the room and look then she just _had_ to go and tell everyone including Kaname-sama and that's all I have to say," she said speaking very quickly then handed the stick to Yuuki.

"I found the site and thought that people have a right to know if other people are talking about them so I figured I should tell everyone," she said. She talked the slowest she she could be understood yet somehow she had the least to say. That was very unusual. She then handed it to Yori who stared around.

"Why am I here? Is the night class really made of vampires? Is—"she began but Seiren quickly jumped to her and began to erase her memory. "What am I doing here?" Yori asked suddenly. "I should be in class." Seiren carefully helped her out of the circle and walked her back to the sun dorms.

Zero looked at the stick which Yuuki had handed to him.

"This is stupid and pointless," he announced and handed the stick to Kaname.

"Well no duh it's stupid and pointless Kiryuu, so shut up and tell your side of the story!" snapped Aido. Kiryuu looked at him.

"'_Well no duh it's stupid and pointless Kiryuu, so shut up and tell your side of the story_'" he said in a high pitched voice, trying to imitate Aido. The ex-human and the noble both narrowed their eyes at each other.

"It's kinda like the stories," Yagari said thoughtfully. "You guys gonna bang each other next?"

"Now hold on a minute Yagari," scolded the Chairman. "I'm more of a kiryuuxkaname and aidoxyori fan myself," he added and everyone, including Yuuki this time sweat dropped again. Suddenly, the Chairman and Yagari found themselves being attacked by Kaname, Zero and Aido.

Kaname had been right. This thing was impossible to pull off. Sighing, everyone left although Ichijou stayed behind long enough to wake Shiki and Rima who then left somewhere else in the building that seemed to be in the direction of Shiki and Ichijou's bedroom. So the fan fiction dot net problem never was solved. But it did have some interesting results.

"Hey where did Kain and Ruka go?" Ichijou asked Yuuki, who simply shrugged and headed off to find Yori. Ichijou had fairly good idea of where they were.

The epilogue is next and then the story is over T.T!! That just means I get to start a new one! But I will forever remember this as my first comedy with chapters

Read and Review!!


	6. Epilogue: Sleepless Nights

**Author's note: **Oh my, just this last epilogue and the story is complete! Wow…that makes me kinda sad. Previously, Chairman Cross decided to try and have a circle time thing in discussion of fan fiction dot net. This ended in him and Yagari having the crap beat out of them by an infuriated Aido, Kaname and Zero. In the end, the fan fiction dot net issue remains but after getting beaten up by three pissed vampires, wouldn't you keep your mouth shut and perverted fantasies to yourself?

Aido scowled deeply. It had been two days since the meeting about fan fiction dot net, which hadn't ended very well at all. Certain changes had been noticed in Kain and Ruka's relationship hadn't gone unnoticed but seriously, _this?_ Aido had been on his way to his room when he heard some, er, interesting sounds coming from his room.

_Hell no!_ He thought dangerously. He checked and the door was locked. Damn they might as well barricade it with a bed!

Aido probably wouldn't be sleeping in that room until it had been cleaned at least twelve times. Now he found himself making his way to the main room where he could sleep on the couch. Ah, how nice that would be…. Aido staggered down the steps in his pink pajamas that had a picture of him on the front with "I love me" sewed on right above it.

"I miss Mr. Cuddles!" he wailed in a whisper. Aido sat down on the couch and to his horror, found himself sitting on something very alive.

"Ouch!" he heard someone hiss. Ichijou. What a relief.

"Ichijou? What are you doing out here?" Aido asked the vampire he was sitting on.

"Get off of me and I'll tell you," Ichijou offered. Aido scooted over so he was on Ichijou's legs instead of his back. He heard a sigh of relief. Jeez, he wasn't _that_ fat! Was he…?

"I was evicted from my room," Ichijou said dryly. Hint, hint.

"What do you mean why didn't Shiki—" Aido started but then a thought hit him. "Shiki and Rima weren't--?"

"Yes. They. Were," Ichijou said miserably. "Now I'm stuck out here." Aido sighed sadly.

"I know how you feel, sad as it is," he told his friend. Ichijou looked at the playboy vampire (or at least, the best he could considering he was being sat on) and something that looked like realization came across his face.

"Kain and Ruka weren't—"

"Yup."

"Mother of all things unholy, _are you serious_??"

"Do you think I'd be here if I wasn't?" Aido demanded. Ichijou shrugged,

"By the way Hanabusa, who is Mr. Cuddles?" he asked slyly and Aido punched his back. "Ouch!"

Aido glared down. "Don't you talk about Mr. Cuddles like that!" he snapped. Ichijou rolled his eyes. And he thought this night couldn't get any worse. Now he had to deal with _Aido_ along with the disgusting sounds that had come from his and Shiki's room. Actually, they could just call it Shiki and Rima's room and Ichijou would take Rima and Ruka's. After all, if what Aido was saying was true, Ruka wouldn't be spending much time in her room either. What had the world come to? Nothing good, that's what! Damn fan fiction dot net….

"So what do we do now?" Aido asked Ichijou.

"That's been a very frequent question lately," Ichijou said yawning. He was prepared to give up on sleep. When had Aido become so HEAVY?

Life was so simple before this. But now with everyone screwing each other, it was so confusing.

"I won't be surprised if Rima and Ruka both end up pregnant," grumbled Aido. Neither of the two could possibly know that in about a week's time, they would be dealing with a screaming, squealing, puking, pregnant Rima. So much for her being the lucky one….

"Yuuki, too," Ichijou put in sleepily.

"Is she really—? With who?" demanded Aido suddenly very awake. Ichijou paled. If Kaname-sama every heard him say that, he would be in some really big trouble.

"I don't know if she is or not I just put it in!" hissed Ichijou. Only Aido could take two words and make them a possible death threat. "This place is turning into a strip club," growled Ichijou irritably.

Aido looked thoughtful. "Actually, I'd say its more like breeding grounds," he said, his tone matching his facial expression. Ichijou snorted.

_Damn fan fiction dot net! _They both thought at the same time.

Suddenly Aido got a very, very dangerous idea. He met Ichijou's confused green eyes and grinned.

"Hey Ichijou, how about we go with the crowd and we—" he began.

"Shut up Hanabusa. I know what you're going to say and don't you dare say it," Ichijou said darkly.

"But everyone else is, you know, 'getting it on' so why don't we—"

"No!"

"Aw, c'mon Ichijou, you _know_ you wanna—"

"No!" Ichijou growled. He was seriously wishing he hadn't stopped Seiren from killing Aido the other night. Damn it all to hell.

"Please Takuma?"

"What in the hell did you just call me??"

"Um, Takuma?"

"I am giving you thirty seconds to shut the hell up or I'm telling Kaname-sama what you did to his blanky," Ichijou threatened and Aido paled.

"You _wouldn't_!"

"I get quite cranky when I don't get sleep because I'm being pestered by some gay rapist."

"You want me that bad?"

"I'm telling Kaname in the morning."

"I'm keeping you up _all night long_ if you catch my drift," Aido said grinning.

_Damn fan fiction dot net!!_

_-The End-_

So short…and now it's all over. Looks like Aido put Ichijou in a bad mood so I guess it's I good thing...Read and Revieeeeewwwww!!


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